Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
