just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
