I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
3pm strippers are depressing
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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