Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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