I love black thongs
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
its not stalking. its research.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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