I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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