Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize