Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??

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(503): View more from Oregon

I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.

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(678): View more from Georgia

so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.

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(740): View more from Ohio

I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out

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(908): View more from New Jersey

did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.

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(219): View more from Indiana

Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper

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(204): View more from Manitoba

That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina

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(310): View more from California

Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...

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