bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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