I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
