I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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