need another drink. this is the easiest way
i jhust puked up my retainher.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
