Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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