ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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