I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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