bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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