I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Who put my cat in the fridge?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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