You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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