Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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