Is it normal to miss your booty call?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
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