did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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