Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Randomize
