whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
