we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
