I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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