That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Randomize