I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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