I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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