Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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