Christians are straight up FREAKS
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
