Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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