I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
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i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
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There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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