Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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