Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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