maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
