So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
