I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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