i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
