haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I need water and some morals
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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