Dual....:-)
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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