I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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