remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
