i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
