I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
