You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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