I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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