4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i permit you to call me
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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