Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
