you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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