I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
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Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
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I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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