Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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