No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
