to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
