Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Randomize
