The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
