I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Blow job season was short but glorious.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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