Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
