yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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