Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
