I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
