I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
