I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I should be sponsored by Trojan
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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