Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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