I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
