his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
