it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
