I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
