Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
